Getting Off …

The one absolute truth I’ve learned in the 12 years of researching sexuality and relationships is that everyone’s “get off “ looks different.  And, even our own “get off” looks different then we think it should.

A friend recently admitted that she was about 5 min from a throw down. She was just waiting for the right opportunity to go a couple of rounds with the first person that gave her an excuse.   When I asked if she was pissed off, she let out a long “YEAHHHHH…,” along with a grin of satisfaction, that she was finally able to reveal the secret she was working hard to keep.

I love the raw expression of sensations, feelings and emotions. Yet, I have to admit, that some days my own “get off” comes in the form of resistance.  I go for a run in my mind, which provides me with hours upon hours of entertainment with my judgments and beliefs that “I can’t have what I want.” It would be easy to mistake this pattern for insecurity, if I didn’t know better. But if I’m being honest with myself, I know when I indulge that pattern that I’m getting off more on my resistance to something than I think I could get off on the thing I’m resisting. Crazy, I know. But  at least, when I recognize it as my get off, I can have fun with the pattern without getting stuck in it.

When we don’t recognize all of the ways we are getting off, we actually think we’re not.  But when we are able to, it’s actually possible to enjoy the frustrations, anger and resistance as stops along the way. And, not coincidentally, we also start having the best sex of our lives.

My desires in creating the experiences that make up Living in Passion are to provide people with places to explore their “get off” – and learning to enjoy it wherever it shows up. And along the way sharing the common, oh so satisfying experience of YEAHHHHHHHHHHH.